Preparing for Valentine’s Day, the Tinder way

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Different year, same situation.

Valentine’s Day is soon approaching, with less than a week away! My friends who are in a relationship are excited, shopping for a cute outfit to wear and planning out their makeup. They are scurrying to find their boyfriends the right gift and some are even planning on what to say when they receive their gift.

Me? I’m going on with my week normally. I have homework to do and planning to go home for the weekend so I don’t have to sit around and watch everyone else get cute to go out on their dates. *sigh*

I have been in college for almost two years now. One reason why I decided to go to school out of state was so that I could be as far away as possible from my ex and be free to start over. I was hopeful that being in a place where no one knew me would allow me to become the person I’ve always wanted to be – confident, outgoing, interesting.

Instead, I have found it very hard to change who I am. I have found that a zip code does nothing for who you are. I have come to accept that I am quiet, I am an introvert, I am beautiful, and sometimes I can muster to beĀ confident in my own way.

The most frustrating part of going out of state for school has been that I have not found it easy to meet people! Thank God I met some of my best friends through church and community group, otherwise I don’t know that I would have had anyone!

So making friends has been difficult, now imagine the struggle to meet dateable guys. I am often told that I am too picky, that I should lower my standards or be a little more lenient. I can’t do that. Doing so would require me to be someone I’m not. I know what I want and I want those things, those characteristics and features for the future that I have pictured for myself.

I know that things almost always don’t go as expected, but I can’t help but believe that I will find the person I’ve been searching for.

Could Tinder give me the boost I need to find someone?

Tinder has been around for a while. I may even be late since I just started using it a few months ago. I don’t use it often, but I do admit that I get caught up with the swiping and can spend hours doing so!

It’s so interesting to be able to swipe right or left in an instant. And in instant you determine which way you will swipe for a person. A little profile “says” a lot about a person. Mostly, I think that Tinder is set up for you determine whether you like someone or not based on their appearance.

Because of this, I do not believe Tinder is the best tool for finding a soulmate. And most people don’t either. Most people are just looking for a hookup. But what about the rest of us who really are looking for a longterm relationship? You have to be careful, but I think Tinder could really work as a boost.

Even if you only end up going on one date I think that date will help to boost your confidence to talk to the cute guy at the coffee shop.

One of my friends found love through Tinder. Neither one of us can say whether it will last forever, but it has produced a beautiful relationship and there’s no doubt that they care for each other deeply.

Lately, I have been using Tinder and I found someone that I really like. I had to gather the courage to message him first and the anticipation of him messaging me back was awful, but I think it’s worth it.

First of all, Tinder, like other social media sites, allows you to be brave and say things you wouldn’t normally say in person. It also allows you to think about your responses. Since it’s messaging and you can do it from anywhere, you can also get to know the other person more and decide from there where it goes.

So this Valentine’s Day I encourage you to be safe, but to take a risk and message someone you like. It does’t have to be Tinder, other dating sites will work too. If you’re ready to be out on the dating scene once again, like me, Tinder is the perfect tool. Just make sure you know what you want when you’re talking to someone and let the other person know your intentions. Most of all, have fun!

This year, is your year.

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